Ah iOS Mail

Form follows function. Is it too much to ask? Oh, how elegant the smooth, sexy, keyframed transitions from portrait to landscape. Swooshing frames that go hither and yon like special effects in a movie. Unfortunately, iOS mail is totally useless on some basic level, Eudora for Windows (circa 1997) is so vastly superior, it boggles the mind. Today, I typed the name of one of my email contacts into the search bar. I happen to know that my inbox contains over 50 messages from this contact. Number of search results? ZERO. I know: let's completely rewrite the OS for the next version. For the marketing dept and wallstreet. Can't let them down.

Naturally, this hilarity is only underscored and punctuated by the swarms of yellow journalists who will write effusive and praising stories about same. Because they want a free iPad in April. I'm sure this is a sustainable business model.